Decisions, decisions!

I don't know what to do anymore. Do I do a figure competition in the spring? Or do I train for a photo shoot? Or do I focus solely on a brand new opportunity. Decisions, decisions! There are so many fitness goals I could pursue but I don't know if I can do them all.

Since I started working with my trainer Nathan, the goal was always to do a figure competition in the spring. Lately I've been flip-flopping on the idea ... big show (WBFF), smaller show (IDFA), or no show at all. I love Nate's Hour of Honour twice a week, I love the contest prep ... the training and the discipline involved. I love having a goal to work towards. I NEED a goal to work towards to keep me motivated. But I have to be honest, I do NOT like the pressure of getting on the scale every week to see if I lost weight, especially when the number stays the same ... or worse ... goes up. I even get obsessed with how every inch of my body looks. I don't know if I want that pressure anymore. Plus the post-comp has been hard on my body in the past. But every time I go to a show I get the urge to get on stage. So clearly I haven't decided on that yet.

Then there's the photo shoot. The one and only photo shoot I did was an awesome experience! I loved it and would definitely do it again. That's enough to keep me motivated ... I think. The only thing missing is the competition aspect. I like to compete. And then I wonder ... what will I do with the awesome photos besides show all my Facebook and Twitter friends? How many fitness magazines are going to want to publish a 40-plus year old fitness chick with small real boobs (I'm obsessed with boobs these days ... hahaha) and a mini-fro? I haven't seen too many women that look like me in these magazines yet.

And now there's a new opportunity coming my way. I just attended part 1 of the Get Ripped certification course. I'm learning how to teach the Get Ripped series of fitness classes. And if you've ever taken one of the classes it's a lot harder to instruct than it looks. That means I'll have to be practicing, practicing, and practicing some more in order to get a chance to start teaching. It's something I really want to do. I think it would be so fun! The workouts are great and will keep me in shape as well! And the best part is I'll play a big role in motivating people to take control of their health! How cool would that be?! However, it's going to take a lot of work to be a good, amazing, outstanding instructor ... a focused effort.

Even though I call myself Superwoman, I don't think I can accomplish all three of these fitness goals at the same time. I'm going to have to pick one or maybe two. I don't know. Looks like I've got some decisions to make.

A LITTLE MORE "T" TO GO WITH MY "A"

I WANT BOOBS! There! I said it! That's right! I want a little more "T" to go with my "A". I'm not going to lie. I'm a bit obsessed with looking at women's "augmented" boobs. Plus, when you hang around enough fitness and figure competitors you see LOTS ... good ones ... and not so good ones. I don't want anything over the top (of my blouse ... hahaha). I just want them to be like when I was 20 ... perky, if you will. Okay ... maybe 1 cup size bigger ... but that's it (says the woman who said she only wanted 1 tattoo, got another, and is seriously considering a third.)

Now I'm sure many of you are saying "But Cara you look great and we love you just the way you are!" and I thank you for that. I love me too! And I would still love me if I didn't have to "lift and separate" ... heehee!

If you want to know why I would LOVE a new set, I have three reasons:
1) As I get older and train harder my body is getting tighter and leaner ... except the "girls" are getting smaller and flatter ... and it does not look pretty when you're skipping or running. (Can anyone recommend a really good sports bra, please?)
2) Bigger ta-tas make your stomach "appear" flatter. I'd still train my core but the extra help of the "optical illusion" doesn't hurt.
3) I need all the girly-ness I can get. With a mini-fro and muscles, I have to do a little extra to bring out my femininity ... "augmentation" would go a long way to help that!

Y'all may be surprised by this admission but I'm just being "real" ... about "fake" boobs! Hahaha! By the way, anyone have a spare 10 grand I could borrow?

There's no whining at Hour of Honour!

I learned very early on with my trainer Nathan that complaining about anything in his workouts will cost you in sweat and muscle pain. There's no whining at Hour of Honour. In fact, for the first few weeks I attended, I barely spoke or made eye contact with him. I just did what I was told. Well today I was trying to play Superwoman but I couldn't handle it any longer. I had a sharp pain in my left knee that I've been feeling when I run on the treadmill for the last few weeks. I had a run right before going to Hour of Honour and had to cut it short by about 5 minutes because of the sharp pain every time my left foot hit the tread. I was not impressed. But like a true athlete I thought I could "play through". So off I went with my Superwoman cape blowing in the wind from my gym to the Athlete Factory where Nate puts us through our paces. We started with our regular warm-up laps ... and bang ... sharp pain in the knee hit me at the end of lap 2. I had to walk the last little bit. I resisted saying anything for a few seconds then I thought I have to. So all I did was yell "Pain in the knee" and I pointed to it. Nathan said "Pain in my ear!" But then he eventually modified a few exercises for me. I felt like wimp. I wanted to do backwards leap frogs. I wanted to do one-legged squats and go all the way down like everyone else. I wanted to do full out sprints. (Wow. I can't believe I just said that.) But I couldn't do those things tonight. I felt like a total whiner and I felt like Nathan was annoyed. I need to get over that.

So what did I learn from all of this? That sometimes EGO gets in the way. For such a small word, it can have such a BIG impact on so many things. Have you checked your EGO lately? You may be surprised at what you find.

An Awesome Workout Always Makes it Better

I made some bad choices today. And as a result, I created a day of bitchiness for myself. But an awesome workout always makes it better.

It started first thing this morning when I got to work. The frustration kicked in almost immediately. One incident set off a constant flow of complaining and bitching. So when that wave of negativity settled down I was hit with another annoying issue. That sure got my mouth going and the f-bombs flying. It was so bad my co-worker felt he had to give me a hug. Then I was just punchy for the rest of the day. Ready to snap at a moment's notice.

Now remember when I said I made some bad choices? Well actually it was just one bad choice ... but that's all it took. I chose to react negatively to all those incidents that happened. I chose to get angry, swear, pout, raise my voice, get snappy, and cop an attitude ... all those antics were my choice. I was fully aware I was doing it. I was fully aware I chose to do it. So why did I bring all those negative vibes into my day? I guess because I can. Sorry. Nothing profound here. Simply because I can. And I did. I'm not saying that it was right and I'm not proud of it.

So to help get me out of my funk I went to my happy place. I focused on my cardio and Hour of Honour workout that I would be doing later that day. (By the way, I chose NOT to do my cardio today because of one of those incidents that happened). Even though the Hour of Honour is hellish ... muscle-burning, ear-ringing HELL ... it was still awesome! It was the best way to end my day of (choosing to be) bitchy Cara! So thank you Nathan and all the ladies that "sweat it out" at the Athlete Factory today! You made my day!

They're Not Always Going to be Winners

I've been trying to figure out all day what I was going to share with you all in my blog but I was stumped. Usually once I start writing about something the words just flow. I typed, stopped, and deleted on my computer about 5 times. Then it hit me. I realized they're not always going to be winners. Why don't I just write about that? It's real. Most of the time I'm inspired to write about something from my workout or other healthy adventures. But today it was pretty boring actually. My "Workout DVD" practice I was supposed to attend was moved to Friday, so all I had to do today was cardio ... 60 minutes of walking on the treadmill at an incline. *Yawn* Sometimes that can be the longest hour of my life. I was equipped with distractions though: my iPod playing old school tracks, my BlackBerry so I could tweet and text, some gym friends came by for brief chats, and best of all, CNN kept me up to date on how many miners were left to emerge from that Chilean mine. As I watched miner after miner reuniting with their loved ones after 69 days underground in a deep dark hole, I started to put my boredom into perspective. Maybe 60 minutes walking on a treadmill is not so bad after all. By the way, I'm so thrilled all the those miners got out safely. Now that's a WINNER of a story!

10 Almonds Per Day (And Other Important Numbers)

I never thought I'd be so pumped about having 2 tablespoons of any condiment per meal. My trainer said I could! But when I asked him if that included ALMOND BUTTER he said "Almond butter is not a condiment." Whatever. But I do get to have 10 almonds per day. One of my friends asked me "What happens if you have 11?" Good question. Nothing really happens. "It's just a guideline", I told her. "Like the number on your scale."

Fitness/figure competitors are so obsessed with numbers ... calories, weight of food, weight on the scale, body fat percentage, days and weeks until competition etc. Here are some numbers I'm dealing with right now: my goal is to lose 3.4% body fat in 3 weeks ... just in time for filming day for the Ripped: Chiseled workout video. And even though it's not a competition, sometimes I get overwhelmed and just don't want to count anymore. Or I just don't want to stand on the scale every week and here it creak and wonder what the number will be this time. It can be agonizing and frustrating sometimes when that number is not what you want it to be.

So I've decided NOT to focus on certain numbers right now (BF% and weight) and just DO THE WORK. Because I believe if I DO THE WORK the results will come. So here's to day two of my 3 week plan (more numbers ... ha!) ... all meals consumed (no extras), cardio completed, and hour of honour accomplished. Bring on day three!

I'm so excited and I just can't hide it!

Something really AWESOME is going on right now. I'm so excited and I just can't hide it! I'm a video chick! Some of you already know I'm going to be in one of Jari Love's latest set of Ripped workout DVDs. (www.jarilove.com) The one I'm in is called Chiseled. Mostly resistance training ... feeling the burn in your muscles! It's a tough workout especially when you're doing certain parts over and over again, like we do when we're practicing. But the goal of course, is to get chiseled.

So how am I getting "CHISELED" for filming day? Well let me fill you in on what the next three weeks will be like for me. Now keep in mind, this is what "I'm" doing. The other ladies in this video already teach the Ripped classes therefore they're already ripped. Me? I'm getting there. With the help of a new program and meal plan from my trainer Nathan Harewood this is what I'll be putting my body and mind through to look "AWESOMER" come filming day:

Monday: Cardio 25 minutes skipping, 30 treadmill incline walk
Tuesday: Cardio 40 minute run AND Hour of honour with Nathan the trainer
Wednesday: Cardio 60 minutes treadmill incline walk AND Chiseled practice (approx. 2 hours)
Thursday: Cardio 25 minutes skipping, 30 treadmill incline walk AND Hour of Honour with Nathan the trainer
Friday: Cardio 40 minute run
Saturday: REST
Sunday: Cardio 60 minutes stairs AND Chiseled practice (approx. 2 hours)

Tired yet? I am. I L.O.V.E. it ... the opportunity, the challenge, the rewards! Stay tuned!

ONE OF MY TOUGHEST CHALLENGES YET

I've lifted super heavy weights, have done reps until I thought fire was going to shoot from my muscles, ran tons of sprints at top speed, gasping for air. But this week I faced one of my toughest challenges yet ... and I didn't move a muscle or break a sweat. Curious yet? I started a 30-day Meditation challenge. Yes that's right. I, Cara "Superwoman, can't sit down, doing too much" Fullerton, committed to at least 10 minutes of stillness every day. Not sleeping. Focusing. Focusing on my breath. Not "thinking" about anything. Sounds easy doesn't it. NOT! Try it. Seriously ... it's difficult. When I tried it for the first time my mind went every where from the pain in my ankles from sitting crossed-legged to what I was going to wear to work to how much time was left in my 10 minutes of stillness to that email I had to send to whoever. I made it through the 10 minutes though. And have done it every day since I started last Monday. In fact, on Saturday I did it three times ... once in the steam room at the gym! For those who don't meditate you're probably asking yourself why I'm doing it. Well, there is too much going on in my brain and I believe it's causing me to disconnect from myself. I want to reconnect with Authentic Cara. My friend Jackie Dumaine (www.stillnessroom.com) started this challenge and has been subtly harassing me to join. (I would say this to her face ... it was annoying at times ... heehee.) I finally took her up on it because I felt so scrambled. There are some negative things going on in my life that I needed to take care of. I had lots of ideas and thoughts in my head. I didn't know how to put it all together. I was overwhelmed. It was affecting me psychologically, emotionally and worst of all, physically. It impacted my fitness and how well I performed when I trained. It will be interesting to see how meditation will change my LIFE. I've been told by many who practice meditation that with consistency it will make a huge impact. Now I don't know if my one week of meditation has changed anything yet. All I know is I had a great week, I look forward to my 10 minutes of stillness everyday, and I'm looking forward to another great week ahead. I've been working so hard on my BODY ... it's time to work on my MIND and most importantly my SPIRIT.